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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23365243">The Swords and the Pen</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoseteAsteria/pseuds/CoseteAsteria'>CoseteAsteria</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Undertale (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Horrortale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Fantasy, Multi, Paladin skeletons, inspired by llamagoddessofficial, paladin au, this is one of her incredible AUs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:40:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,043</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23365243</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoseteAsteria/pseuds/CoseteAsteria</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This was inspired by Llama_Goddess, her work Aggre(g/v)ation, and her wonderful Tumblr that's chock full of AUs of her work!</p><p>As a female merchant, you've definitely experienced a lot of things. But a skeleton monster with an apparent distaste for all humans is not one of them. Or a skeleton monster that flirts with you. Or a skeleton monster that liked to run his fingers through your hair. But here we are...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sans (Undertale)/Reader, Sans (Undertale)/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>134</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Swords and the Pen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/15229902">Aggre(g/v)ation</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llama_Goddess/pseuds/Llama_Goddess">Llama_Goddess</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Go check out Llama_Goddess!! Do it!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sans had always loved the snow.</p><p> </p><p>He loved watching the little eddies of ice swirl around him as he looked out from a warm fire. He loved watching the pines move and sway in the cold wind. But most of all, he loved looking at the hundreds of snowflakes and knowing that somewhere out there, his little crystals were swirling around as well.</p><p> </p><p>It was an old folk tale, often told to children when the howling winds of a blizzard became too much for them. Long ago, the Earth was consumed in heat and fire. The gods had not yet Thought of water. They watched the souls they created cry out in pain and pray to the gods for relief, for death, for anything to save them. No one prayed harder than those in the Euszuhrsus Mountains, the ones closest to the evil sun. Eventually, the goddess Tui'asr grew weary of the cries of pain and pushed the sun south, blessing the souls of the Euszuhrsus Mountains with long nights and short days. She then took the prayers of past, present, and future mortals. Each prayer was frozen solid, then drifted down onto the Earth. The mortals’ desires for quenched fire created water and ice, and the prayers became snowflakes.</p><p> </p><p>Sans chuckled a little bit. Although the tale was one for children, he didn’t deny the unbelievable amount of comfort it gave him knowing that the prayers for his safe arrival surrounded him. It made him feel less alone.</p><p> </p><p>The howl of wolves cut through his thoughts like a knife. He jumped to his feet and looked around, pulling out his spear. His eye lights darted around his camp, looking for the telltale glow from the wolves’ eyes. While wolves were not uncommon in his mountain, they were still hell to fight if they caught you off guard. But Sans was not unfamiliar with battles against wolves. The furs he wore could attest to that.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, a feminine high-pitched scream came from the direction of the wolves’ howls. Sans gasped as his soul constricted in a panic. It started practically dragging him towards the scream.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> need to find her. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> need to find <strike>HER!</strike> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The next thing Sans knew, he had teleported into a clearing, nearly growling with a strength he didn’t know he had. His eye lights darted around, but he quickly froze as he saw a ginormous wolf pinning down a small figure, growling while opening its disgusting mouth.</p><p> </p><p><em> save </em> <em> H<strike>ER</strike> </em> <strike> <em> ! </em> </strike></p><p> </p><p>Sans’ eye began to burn with blue fire. He dodged out of the way of two smaller wolves and slammed into the disgusting beast on top of <em> HER </em>. He flung it into a nearby pine. Sharpened bones appeared and pinned the wolf to a tree. It went limp. Sans turned around quickly and snarled at the other two. They began to whimper, but Sans didn’t do mercy. More bones appeared and made quick work of the cowards. The snow was stained a dark red.</p><p> </p><p>Sans stood, panting, as the fire in his eye socket sputtered out. That had been such a waste of magic. He had a spear right there, for Tui'asr’s sake! When did he become so stupid?</p><p> </p><p>A groan came from behind him and Sans whipped around, coherent thoughts leaving him. <em> fuck, what did that beast do to </em> <em> HER </em> <em> ! </em> He quickly stooped over the small figure. However, the lack of light made it hard to see. He quickly scooped them up (as quickly as he could anyway, <em> <strike>SHE</strike> </em> they were the same height as him) and teleported back to his camp. He looked down and saw…</p><p> </p><p>A very shocked and cold-looking human woman with her mouth open.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> she’s perfect. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> she’s human?! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>You had always hated the snow.</p><p> </p><p>You hated the uncaring ice that swirled around you that tried to make you as miserable as possible. You hated the sound of pines creaking and cracking in the cold wind, reminding you far too much of the old men back in your village. But the one thing you could acknowledge is how beautiful the snowflakes looked. Each one unique, they made a kind of fascinating dance as they chilled you to the bone.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, you’d never come to the Euszuhrsus Mountains by choice. They were far too cold, and their long nights made you miss the sun. However, the poor souls who lived here needed supplies, and that’s where you came in. As a merchant, your job was to get supplies to those who needed it the most. No matter the weather. Of course, you hadn’t actually been to this village before. You had only been a merchant for a couple of months, and many people wouldn’t give you a job on account of your femininity. <em> Honestly, just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean that I can’t handle myself. And the man who gave me this job wouldn’t even give me the supplies to carry here myself! Granted, it’s smart to get a list of what the village needs before sending a caravan, but still! </em></p><p> </p><p>A growl snapped you out of your thoughts, and you turned quickly. However, the wet snow underneath your boot (good for walking, but not for traction in snow apparently) made you slip and fall backward into the snow. Just then, three wolves stalked into the clearing. As you struggled to stand back up and get your bow out, the biggest of the group sprinted towards you and pinned you to the ground, banging your head against a hidden rock. Its claws dug into your arms, and you let out a scream of shock. You could see his sharp fangs glinting in the small amount of moonlight that could make it through the clouds. You closed your eyes and waited for the end of it all. <em> So this is it. I guess my father was right about me </em> .<em> I didn't even get to use my bow. How disappointing.</em></p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, the wolf flew off of you and hit a nearby tree. Stars floated around your vision. Or… was that magic? Squinting, you saw a large silhouette glowing with a strange blue light. Before you could even blink, all three wolves were dead.</p><p> </p><p>You groaned as you tried to sit up, realizing that the hit to your head was harder than you thought. The silhouette appeared right next to you. It scooped you up into its arms (you ignored how comforting they were) and you began to panic. Where was this being taking you?! Total darkness enveloped you as all the wind flew out of your lungs. Then, you appeared near a fire and fur tent. You looked up to see your savior and saw…</p><p> </p><p>A very shocked looking skeleton monster.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strike> <em> He’s amazing… </em> </strike>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> This should be interesting. </em>
</p><p><br/>
Well, this was awkward.</p><p> </p><p>The strange skeleton monster (who, moments before, had been your savior) and you were now just staring at each other in shock. You stared up into his rapidly shrinking eye lights while he stared back into your face. Then, as quickly as he had picked you up in the first place, he dropped you hurridly on the ground.</p><p> </p><p>“Ow! What in Haeyal’s name?!” You sat up quickly and rubbed the back of your head in indignation. The skeleton monster’s face became an unreadable, cold mask. Without saying a word, he walked into his tent. “Excuse me, sir, do not walk away from me!”</p><p> </p><p>“what else should i do?” His voice, sounding from inside his tent, was cold and harsh but accented with a strange lilt. “i saved you. we go our separate ways. what else is there?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, for starters, you could tell me your name,” you said indignantly. “Why you saved me in the first place.”</p><p> </p><p>“my name is not important for a <em> human </em> to know.” He practically spat out the word human. “and i saved you because that is what i do. i’m a paladin. i save those too incompetent to take care of themselves.”</p><p> </p><p>“Excuse me?!” At this point, you stormed over to his tent. “I had things perfectly under control, thank you very much!”</p><p> </p><p>Of course, you really hadn’t, but he didn’t need to know that.</p><p> </p><p>“of course you did, human,” the skeleton monster said sarcastically. “now, if you have everything under control, then go. shoo. no one in this mountain needs your kind.”</p><p> </p><p>You weren’t going to lie, that one hurt. Maybe you didn’t have magic, but your determination more than made up for that! You jerked back the tent flap to reveal the skeleton monster sitting cross-legged and facing away from you</p><p> </p><p>“You know, for a great and mighty paladin, you are quite rude to the people you rescue,” you said, arms folded tight across your chest.</p><p> </p><p>“am i?” he said coldly. “maybe you should have handled yourself better than forcing me to take time out of my life to rescue a pathetic human.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> This… how dare he?!?! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>You stormed forward into his line of vision. “Look, buddy, I didn’t ask you to rescue me. That was entirely your choice. Now, I have no idea where I am because some <em> idiot </em> decided he was going to teleport me into his camp. I have no idea how to get to the village I’m supposed to go to. I’m cold and tired and now lost, all thanks to your idiocy-”</p><p> </p><p>“what village?”</p><p> </p><p>“I- pardon?”</p><p> </p><p>“what village?” the monster asked, seemingly annoyed that you didn’t get it in the first place. “i live here. i can point you in the right direction. so, are you going to tell me?”</p><p> </p><p>“...Rrazsuhr. I’m going to Rrazsuhr.” At these words, the monster’s head snapped up to look at you.</p><p> </p><p>“you’re joking me, right?” he asked, disbelief apparent. “you’re going to rrazsuhr? why??” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m a merchant, and I’m getting a list of supplies that the village needs,” you said as you straightened up proudly. “Why is that so hard to believe?”</p><p> </p><p>“because that’s my village.”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Sans was regretting many things currently. For one, he was regretting saving this stupid human merchant. He regretted talking to her. He regretted asking what village he was going to. And he regretted offering to come with her. <em> why did i do that?? </em> Nevermind the happy little skip his soul did whenever he looked at her. She was a human, and that was that. He wasn’t going to touch her with a ten-foot pole.</p><p> </p><p>They had been walking for a good few hours and could finally see the village. At least they had been walking in silence. Sans didn’t know if he could stand the human’s adorable annoying voice any more than he had already heard. But she hadn’t complained, or whined, or really done anything besides walk behind him. Sans appreciated it. He believed he did, anyways.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, the ground began shaking. Sans stopped dead in his tracks, the human crashing into him from behind.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you-”</p><p> </p><p>“stay quiet and get down on one knee.” He could feel the annoyance radiating from behind him.</p><p> </p><p>“What?? Why??”</p><p> </p><p>“do as i say,” Sans hissed, quickly getting down onto one knee. The human, shocked, got on one knee slowly. Just in time, too.</p><p> </p><p>A beautiful white-scaled dragon came walking slowly out of the nearby forest. Its huge silver horns curled around into shining spirals. Its scales shone with iridescence in the moonlight, making the dragon look rather ethereal. Its ice blue eyes were deep with wisdom and pierced Sans’ soul. Then, it began to speak.</p><p> </p><p>“I rarely see you walking back to your village, Sans the skeleton.” Its voice was deep, rumbling, and slow.</p><p> </p><p>“observant as always, wise one,” Sans said, bowing his head. “i’m assisting this human merchant and showing her the way to my village.” If the dragon had an eyebrow, he would’ve raised it.</p><p> </p><p>“That is new for you,” the dragon said. “I did not know that you encouraged the assistance of humans.”</p><p> </p><p>“i don’t,” Sans said, irritation lacing his words.</p><p> </p><p>“I see,” the dragon said. “And you, young one. What brings you here to these mountains?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m gathering a list of supplies that his village needs,” the human said in a small, awed voice. <em> she’s probably never seen a dragon before </em>. “This idi- Sans saved me from a few wolves, and he was kind enough to offer to direct me to his village.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t seem particularly pleased about it,” the dragon said with a smile. The human chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>“Not really,” the human admitted. “It’s hard to be happy about someone helping you when you know that they hate your kind and that they don’t want you around anyways.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sans has always been hesitant about humans,” the dragon rumbled. “It’s nothing about you, young one. I can see that you have a good soul. I wish he could put his prejudices aside.” At this, Sans snapped his head up and began speaking in his own language.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “but she’s so-” </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> “Forward?” </em> The dragon responded to him the same language. <em> “That does not make a woman or human bad. In fact, her honesty is a rather admirable quality. Perhaps you could learn something from her.” </em> That shut Sans up. <em> “However, I sense something. Tell me Sans, has your soul reacted to her at all?” </em></p><p> </p><p><em> “no,” </em>Sans responded hurriedly. The dragon looked at him, clearly disbelieving. However, he responded in common.</p><p> </p><p>“If you say so.” The human was looking at the pair of them, clearly confused. “Now, if you excuse me, I have some business to attend to.” With that, the dragon took off into the sky. The human watched him in shock.</p><p> </p><p>Add talking to a dragon to the list of things Sans regrets.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Rrazsuhr was <em>beautiful</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Huge thatched roofs covered pine log dwellings, each with smoke floating from the center of the structure. The pine logs were lovingly stripped of bark and engraved with intricate designs. Warm light bathed the building-lined trodden-down streets, illuminating children laughing, couples giggling, families talking. Nearby, a fur curtain flapped open as someone went in, and you got to peek inside the building. You saw a packed inn, filled with cheering and raucous laughter. You practically ran past Sans, taking it all in. You smiled and spun around, looking in wonder at a place that felt like it could actually be home. <em>How could I have ever felt sorry for these people? This place is amazing!</em></p><p> </p><p>"you like it?" Sans asked you, speaking for the first time since the dragon. An odd expression was on his face. In the warm light of the village, you somehow forgot the awful things he had said to you. Not only that, but you could also actually see what he looked like. He didn't look like a human skeleton, and he had a grin that seemed to always be fixed to his expression. His armor was light and consisted of a lot of furs, hide, and the like. There was metal on the parts that were deemed most important though.</p><p> </p><p>"I love it!" you exclaimed. "This is where you came from? It's incredible!" Sans' bone brow creased in confusion at your sudden mood shift, but you didn't pay it any mind. "Can we go in there?" You pointed at the inn.</p><p> </p><p>"this is the end of the road, remember? i'm not taking you any farther." Oh right. He was an asshole.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, fine then! I'll just go in myself," you huffed, beginning to march over to the inn.</p><p> </p><p>"fine by me. bye, human," Sans said coldly. But suddenly, you stopped in your tracks and stalked back to him.</p><p> </p><p>"Thank you." You stared at the ground, missing the shocked expression that crossed his face. "For saving me, I mean. And taking me here. And, you know...for an idiot, you're a good paladin." With that, you scurried over to the inn and pulled back the fur curtain, smiling again at the drinking song that had just been struck up. You took a few steps in and took it all in.</p><p> </p><p>Tables were spread evenly throughout the room, accompanied by pairs of benches. Several different types of monsters sat at the tables, laughing and chatting while taking swigs of their drinks. One table that caught your eye was the one with several fluffy dog monsters wearing thick armor and accompanied by axes, a spear, and some daggers. They appeared to be gambling with dog treats. <em>Adorable!!</em> You approached the bar that was at the end of the room and looked around for the barkeeper.</p><p> </p><p>"Grillbz went to the back, if you're looking for him," a nearby red bird monster said to you. He was wearing a tunic made of fur and hide and appeared to be very relaxed.</p><p> </p><p>"Is he the barkeeper?" you asked the bird. He nodded lazily.</p><p> </p><p>"Barkeeper, owner, whatever you wanna call him," he said with a yawn. You noticed that he the same accent Sans had, though Sans wore it a lot better.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, I'm just looking for the mayor of the village," you told the monster. "I'm the merchant who's been sent to gather a list of supplies this village needs so I can send a shipment out her."</p><p> </p><p>"Where's the old man?" the bird monster asked. "I thought that was his job."</p><p> </p><p>"Well, it's mine now. I'm sure it's hard for him to make the trek up here." The bird shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>"I guess. If you're looking for the mayor, you'll wanna talk to Zasuhr. He's the closest thing we got to a leader. He's a bear monster who lives in the big house at the end of the street. You won't be able to miss it." You blinked in surprise.</p><p> </p><p>"Thank you! You've really helped!" you started to walk out the door, but the bird stopped you.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, put in an extra shipment of honey, okay?" he told you. "Grillbz is running low on mead, but he won't tell anyone that. Said that he'll figure it out somehow, but that usually means he takes a trip down the mountain himself. The blizzards have nearly put his flame out more times than he'll admit." You smiled and nodded.</p><p> </p><p>"Of course," you said with a smile. "Thanks for all your help!"</p><p> </p><p>"Sure thing," the bird said lazily. With that, you left the inn and made for the biggest house there. This was all going surprisingly well.</p>
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